Over the years, I have realised that the term healing is really used a lot. But what does it mean?
To heal means to heal. It's like a cut on the leg, that's bleeding, and doing all you can to ensure that it's healed, stopped bleeding and I guess it leaves a little or no scar at all.
I currently have a cut funnily enough on my right foot, that doesn't seem to heal, it's still healing because it itches like fuck! But there are other parts of me that are healed.
Healing is a journey, but it doesn't have to be painful, or for long. Most of the women that come to me have had enough of being stuck in the fear-based thoughts, and the constant emotional outbreaks and they have no idea why they feel that way.
I'm currently working with a client, who has a fear of being poorly, and she has tried everything. However we discovered in fact, it's because of an emotional connection to a word, that was told to them when they were younger.
can you see how the mind holds onto things? It's not because you have to drag out the journey of healing! It's because it takes time for you to know what really is the right path for you.
For me, I have taken a long time to work on myself. I have healed my mind, however beliefs that I no longer desire pop up and I eliminate them. Just because the belief is there, doesn't mean I need more healng, it just means, I have to do more inner work.
My physical body, was struggling big time, and not because it needed healing, it needed aligning because it wasn't to my mind.
Can you see where I am going?
You see, my issues that required deep healing was from when I was 7 years old as I was sexually abused as a child. I didn’t know it was wrong. I didn’t know that it wasn’t allowed. I also didn’t know that it was blocking me big time.
Blocking me from being me.
Blocking me from tapping into my power.
Blocking me from earning my uncapped potential.
Blocking me from love.
Blocking me from deeply connected relationships.
I built up such a huge barrier around my heart, that I just didn’t know how to love, allow myself to be loved, and know what it even was.
You see, all I wanted was love. I just wanted attention, affection, and connection.
But instead, it was just abuse, beatings from my dad; told off at school for talking too
much; emotional neglect from my mum (which btw was not her fault at all as she had in fact black magic put on her!)
But that was the root of all my pain. My mum. My uncle. My Dad.
My dad. I loved him so much. But he just beat me black and blue from as young as 3/4 on the littlest thing like not eating my dinner, or speaking back to them, or getting my time's table’s wrong.
My uncle. I loved him so much. But he abused my sexuality and took away something that should have been sacred, which lead me to give out sex for love later on.
My mum. I loved and needed my goddess so much, but instead, I felt rejected, pain and hurt that she wasn’t there for me. We are ok now.
We healed. We talked. We rectified. We communicated.
In terms of the memories of the past, I healed those too. So if I ever get another belief, or emotions that are stirred, I just eliminate it. PERIOD.
When it came to my heart, however, I had a heart-healing session. However, it made me cry so hard, that I didn't really feel good after. So I had to work on myself even deeper.
I had to finally let go of the abuse, which in fact was linked to my phobia of going over high bridges over water.
I had to say goodbye to my dad, and realise that I now have three men to compensate for the male connection I seeked, right now.
I had to become one who I really am to learn that my past generational and parental wounds can no longer hurt me, or attack my physche in the present day.
Why Am I Sharing this with you?
Because over the past few weeks, some of my regular clients have opened up about disconnected they feel from their true self;
How they had abuse, trauma as a child that is keeping them unlocking their potential and how no matter what work they have done, they still don't feel healed.
How they just want to learn how to reparent themselves and heal themselves wholeheartedly to feel safe, secure, and be able to trust.
You hear it all the time - YOU GOTTA LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU LET LOVE IN.
Well I beg to differ; you can be loved even though you may not accept it wholeheartedly – it’s just a matter of whether you want to work on yourself or not. Because timing is everything.
It took me almost 2 years of work to finally release my sexual abuse, my parental abuse and my generational wounds - THAT IS HEALING.